As a seasoned divorce lawyer, I see far too many of my clients putting off the one thing they absolutely need to be doing throughout this emotionally complex process: making time for self-care. You are being pulled in so many different directions and are experiencing a sea of transitions – it is so easy to get swept up in the stress of it all that physical and mental health take a back seat. But I want you to come out of this process feeling better than you ever have. That idea seems crazy, I know – but it IS possible. What if your divorce didn’t have to be the worst thing ever? What if it could be the launch of something new – a journey to a happier, more fulfilled, and present you?
In my 12+ years practicing family law, I can tell you that the clients who spent even 1-2 hours per week on themselves felt far more grounded, at peace, healthy and ready to love (again). Self-care isn’t just about traditionally female stuff (spa days, long baths etc). There’s a ton of ways to prioritize yourself – guys and gals alike. Examples? Weekly or monthly meetings with a life coach or wellness consultant (my favorites include Annie Wright and Allie Stark); 15-20 minutes per eve meditating or yoga’ing with a great app like Down Dog or Headspace, writing down your most self-loathing thoughts and then throwing them in a fire (don’t believe everything you think!) and spending time with someone who makes you laugh, feel good about yourself and/or inspires you to be a better you.
I am so obsessed with self-care, I’ve even compiled a whole resource category of wellness suggestions on my website, HelloDivorce.com. Our lifestyle section and blog are growing too (with fabulous, curated, ideas from our users and advisors). Case in point: Annie and I created a worksheet that could be applicable to everyone – male or female, young or old, tall or short! Our Self-Care Worksheet walks you through a decision-making process that starts with booking –and committing– to time just for you, and then takes you through a series of questions to help you plan and choose an activity that feels right for you, depending on what you need in this moment and as you grow toward the next version of you.
Let’s face it. If it doesn’t get scheduled, it won’t get done. So please promise me one thing: you’ll carve out at least one hour in the next week just for yourself. Do something that makes you feel as amazing, unique and special as you are. It will give you the strength to persevere and the perspective to know that you’re continuing down the right path for yourself.
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