With the help of social media, today there is a myriad of divorce support resources available – blogs, podcasts, groups, etc. On this week’s episode, Rob Roseman, the founder of WTF Divorce joins the podcast to discuss the community he has created around his website and what he’s learned in the past two years as a divorced dad of three.
In This Episode
Why did Rob create WTF Divorce?
Rob got divorced right as the Pandemic started. He found great content on social media (divorce support, coaches, etc.) and wanted to find a way to share it with other men. His goal is to help other divorcees with relatable divorce support content from experts as well as to create a community where readers would know they aren’t alone.
What inspired Rob to create the “Confessions”?
Rob was inspired by another divorce influencer, Rachel Sobel (@wineandcheezits). He found them to be compelling and addictive and realized it would be a great portal for divorced people to share their thoughts and feelings anonymously and for others to see and feel vindicated or validated by another’s thoughts. It unlocked an easy way for people to share without worrying about what others think and help them feel seen.
Is there ever a confession along the lines of: “I wish my spouse was dead”?
In Mandy’s own experience, she hears this a lot and Rob does too. There are a lot of people who feel this way without ever actually meaning to act on it, but just saying the sentence out loud can feel very taboo.
Rob shares that a friend who is a widower told him that as a widowed parent, he prefers his situation to Rob’s as a co-parent. Co-parenting can be so stressful and anxiety-inducing, causing a lot of people to think that maybe it would be easier if their ex wasn’t around.
What’s Rob’s take on co-parenting?
Parenting on its own is challenging. Parenting in an unhappy marriage is challenging. So parenting as a co-parent with an ex is even more difficult.
People need to hear from other parents going through it.
Co-parenting coaches are key: they can guide you through some of the most stressful situations that you can’t avoid, such as dropping the kids off at their other parents or texting with your ex to set up a schedule.
What has Rob seen in confessions on dating after divorce?
Everyone is clueless when it comes to dating after divorce. The dating world has changed so much, especially with dating apps, and most divorced people haven’t dated in years.
Dating coaches can be such great resources in understanding the dating world and how to conduct yourself. Rob recommends using them as much as possible.
One thing that can be helpful is to speak to divorced friends of the opposite sex to understand their perspectives on various aspects of the dating world, such as dating app profiles.
What about co-parenting and a new romantic partner?
One of the biggest challenges here is coordinating the schedules of both sides.
Time is your most valuable resource as a dating parent so you need to make the most of it. And that might mean that, although it’s awkward, it is a better use of your time to video call or Facetime someone you’re interested in before meeting them in person to see if a date is even worth it. And that can extend to after the first date when it can be hard to coordinate a second date – a video chat with the person you’re interested in after everyone’s kids are in bed can be just as good of a way to get to know someone.
What are Rob’s best pieces of advice?
If you are chatting with someone on an app at it’s past 11 PM, don’t take that conversation or potential relationship too seriously. Chances are there is another reason they are awake chatting at that time and it’s probably not a good one.
Try to have another social outlet besides dating – connect with other men and women going through divorce so that you can have someone who knows what you’re going through as a friend and supporter.
To see more of what Rob has to offer at WTF Divorce, be sure to check out:
WTF Divorce on Instagram @wtfdivorce for confessions and fun humor
The website Wtfdivorce.com for confessions, blog posts, and to join the email list.
Rob Roseman is a divorced dad to three kids and the creator of WTF Divorce. His claims to fame are that is is a former Las Vegas poker pro, a “notorious” Who Wants to Be a Millionaire contestant, the co-founder of KickstartReading.com, and host of the Dad the Best I Can podcast as well as the author of the book Dad The Best I Can, which has a 5-star rating on Amazon.
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