Healing from a broken marriage requires time, love and patience — to a different degree for each individual. How much time, love and patience you’ll need with yourself to heal really depends on a few things, like:
No matter whether the cards are stacked for you or against you though, you can move on and heal from your broken marriage. It may seem hard to put the past behind you, but you have to. You have to leave it where it belongs…in the past. It can’t be changed, reversed or altered, so accepting what is and trying to decide what will be next is vital to your happiness. Your future is bright and your glass is always half-full!
Here are 8 signs you’ve healed past your broken marriage:
You’re not sitting around fearful that the next person will just be like your “insert bad word” ex spouse. Sure, you may be afraid to be vulnerable and get hurt, but the fear is not so paralyzing that you’re going to A: self-sabotage something with a great new partner or B: run from any commitment. You know you could get hurt and you’re scared, but not so scared that you’re about to stay home alone every Saturday night to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Unless it has to do with your kids, you don’t care about your ex. You don’t care if he goes streaking with his new partner. You don’t care if this person badmouths you (just not in front of the kids!). You don’t care what your former partner does as long as your kids are safe.
If you believe that life will be better off without your former partner, you’re healing. If you know that in the long run, you’ll be happier divorced, you’re already doing well just with that one positive thought!
Believing that things will turn out well and that you ended a relationship that was due to be over, are both positive healing thoughts to have.
Sure, every now and then you remember the “good old days” when they actually were the good old days, but you don’t have a movie reel in your head of old memories going on and on every single day. You have moments remembering the good and feeling a bit sad, but they pass over you and you let them go. That’s normal—to remember the past and feel a bit sad…but to let those thoughts linger are unhealthy.
As long as you are actively making choices to better yourself, you are already headed in the right direction.
Instead of viewing everything through a nostalgic lens, you see your former marriage for the good, bad and ugly. You can now look back and see all those nasty little red flags that were popping out at you that you didn’t see before. Instead of looking back at your marriage through tears and heartache, you see it with an objective (mostly) journalist’s view of how things really were.
The pains of stress and sadness are gone, for the most part. You’re not walking around with your doom and gloom cloud anymore. You may feel sad or stressed sometimes, but you have more good days than bad days. You are no longer dominated by the bad feelings.
If you are actively letting go of the past or trying to, you’re already doing the right thing in your healing process. Give yourself a hug and a high-five for working hard towards a better life!
A sure sign that someone is healing is someone who makes good choices to further his or her happiness!
Healing is different for everyone, but as long as you are actively making choices to better yourself, you are already headed in the right direction.
Happy healing!
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