According to statistics, about half of marriages today will end in divorce. That is quite a large number of people facing the same challenge and navigating through many common struggles. I am guessing that if you were to stop right now and think about how many people you know in your life who have divorced or are divorcing, you would be able to name at least a few. So then, why is it that when you are the one going through a divorce you feel so alone?
Divorce can feel like one of the loneliest times in your life. You may know in your head that others have gone through it and survived, but for some reason, the rest of you quite literally feels like an island drifting off at sea. Suddenly, your world as you know it is flipped on its side and everything you thought you knew comes into question. The people you love may start to drift away. The friends you rely on for advice may no longer know what to say. Nobody seems to really understand what you are going through and heck, you don’t even really understand it either. Without even realizing it, you are thrust into a world of unknowns where you make things up as you go and hope that it somehow turns out for the best.
Which leads us right into why joining a community is such an important piece of the divorce puzzle. Now I get it, the idea of sharing such a private and personal part of your life with people you don’t know can feel a little awkward and intimidating. You are already feeling pretty raw and unsteady, so the thought of further opening up to more vulnerability and uncertainty may feel like the last thing you want to do AND may end up being one of the best choices you make along the way. Here’s why:
Even though you are feeling like the only person on the planet going through the things you are navigating, you aren’t. There are others who have been there and survived. Hearing someone tell you that you are not alone, that they understand, and that they too have been down a similar road allows you to feel a sense of safety and reassurance that can truly empower you and help drive you forward.
Going through a divorce is truly one of the most stressful and transformational life events a person can experience and for a while, it may be the only thing you can think about and talk about. Friends and family may do their best to listen and be there for you, but there comes a point where they just cannot offer the amount of listening you require. Remember, if your friends and family love you, they too are affected by your pain and heartache and they too need to take care of themselves. Having a community of support will allow you to spare your loved ones from overwhelm and maybe even free you to share in some joy with them instead.
Most likely you have no idea what you are doing as you make your way through this process. Divorce requires you to make some really big decisions and most of us are not experts on all the possibilities, requirements, and laws. You may have an attorney that you are relying on to provide you with information, but even if your attorney is amazing, they still do not know everything there is to know. Having a community filled with people who can provide answers to your questions and help point you in the right direction is an invaluable way to educate yourself so that you stay in the driver’s seat of your own divorce journey.
As a matter of fact, nobody should ever have to go through any life-altering event alone. You need a group of people who can lovingly call you on your crap, help you calm down when things spin out of control and give you a kick in the rear when you feel like you just can’t take a single step more. Divorce can be a long and arduous process, and my guess is, you will need all of these things many times throughout your journey.
Going through a divorce may be stressful and painful AND it can truly be the most transformative and empowering experience of your life. When you make conscious choices to set yourself up to win and be the best version of you along the way, the difficult road you travel can lead you to your deepest desires. Joining a safe, supportive, and effective community, like Worthy Women & Divorce can be the difference between you staying stuck in the heartbreak vs. the heartbreak setting you free.
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