6 Steps to Healing After a Heartbreak

Nicole Amaturo

By Nicole Amaturo | Jan 31st, 2018

I get it! You miss him. You miss your routine. You miss feeling significant. You miss feeling like you had someone. You second guess yourSelf. You feel alone. Scared. Lonely. But, today is the day that you begin to heal from all of it and begin to truly move on. You made the decision or someone else made it for you. Either way, there’s no looking back. This has been done for you even if you can’t understand why or how right now. I can guarantee that when you begin to accept where you are, instead of resisting it, and begin to focus on the positives of your situation, the Universe will conspire and give you lots more to be grateful for. Where your attention goes, energy flows.

Sometimes relationships aren’t meant to be forever. Sometimes they’re meant to come into your life to teach you what you need to learn in order to heal and grow. The more you hold onto what’s already dead, the more you are blocking what IS meant for you. The moment you let go, you free yourSelf. You choose to no longer allow yourSelf to suffer in pain. When you honor yourSelf and your life purpose, you begin to let go, accept, stay open to all the possibilities, and love yourSelf unconditionally with compassion.

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Heartbreaks suck. There’s no sugar coating it. Even if you’re the one who decided it. You’re mourning. Mourning the loss of an old identity. Mourning the loss of a relationship. Mourning the loss of a person who was a big part of your life. But in the midst of all this pain, you’ll happen to stumble upon yourSelf again. You’ll begin to see yourSelf as less of a victim of circumstances. Instead, you’ll begin to realize that there’s a bigger plan for you and your job is to just remain open to it. You have a whole beautiful, new life waiting for you.

READ ALSO: How to Attract Your Perfect Partner

It is important to feel in order to heal. This is where the magic happens. When you fail to deal with the pain on the inside, it continues to shows up on the outside in different circumstances from different people. The faces and names change, but you end up feeling the exact same way as you did in the past. Many of my clients tried to rebound and jump from relationship to relationship, without healing the initial reason they attracted who they attracted to begin with. It was easier. It took the focus off of their pain and distracted them for a while. But, sure enough they ended up feeling the same way they did in their past relationships one way or another: abandoned, not good enough, unlovable, or insignificant. They realized they were the common denominator and this is when they began to show up for their healing.

You have a choice everyday. You can run from your lessons and pain for a bit, but ultimately you can’t hide. Your lessons that you are supposed to go through are your lessons that you chose before coming into human form. You receive the lessons often from your most intimate relationships. They were meant to bring you to the realization of what needs to be healed within. Nothing triggers these old wounds more than an intimate relationship. These lessons are all a part of your growth and evolution of your soul.

READ ALSO: Why Your Divorce is The Wake Up Call You Never Knew You Needed

When you show up for your assignment in healing, there is no freer feeling. Suddenly you’ll stumble upon yourSelf again. But this time it’s a whole, new and improved, YOU. You begin putting yourSelf first. You begin meeting your own needs, instead of depending on others to make you happy. You suddenly compliment yourSelf and feel alive again. You laugh at yourSelf. You take YourSelf on dates. You finally understand that nobody actually needs to complete you as you complete YOURSELF. You finally become your own best friend.

6 Ways to Begin Healing Today

  1. Be patient with your mourning process. It is important to allow yourSelf the space you need as you go through the 5 stages of mourning: Shock/Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. As you are going through these stages, you may feel like you’re going crazy as you’re up one day, feeling stronger than ever, and completely down the next day, not knowing how to get out from under the covers. It’s ok. It’s part of the process. Allow it without judging yourSelf. You are where you are supposed to be in every moment.

  2. Heal your inner child. Your inner little girl is the one crying out for help. She’s the one who needs to be nurtured right now. You basically have a 7-year-old running your whole life right now with her set of beliefs that were created in childhood. Scary, right? It is important to listen to your emotions as messengers to understand what your little girl is feeling and needs to be healed from. If you want more help with this, sign up for my FREE 5-Day Unhealthy Love Detox. This will help you uncover your unconscious patterns, understand what needs to be healed and begin the healing process today.

  3. Connect to something greater. Realize there is something greater guiding your path and setting you up to succeed. Ask for a sign. Pick anything that comes to you. Then, let it go. Don’t look for it. It’ll come to you and you’ll begin to realize someone is walking alongside of you guiding every step.

  4. Forgive and release blame. By holding onto blame and anger, you are only hurting yourSelf and blocking anything good that’s meant to be in your path. Letting it all go only frees you. If you’d like more ideas on how to forgive and heal, feel free to sign up for my Heal in 21: 21 Days of Activities to Create A New You course.

  5. Become your own best friend. Spend time alone journaling, meditating, and exercising. Take yourSelf on a date. Love yourSelf each day by putting you first and at night before bed, say “I Love You. You’re doing a Great Job!” to yourSelf in the mirror.

  6. Create a new you. Get a new haircut and color. Add some highlights. Update your wardrobe. Get a massage or facial. Engage in some self-care and pampering and step into your feminine energy of receiving.

Nicole Amaturo

Nicole Amaturo

Nicole Amaturo is a personal growth and love coach who specializes in helping women all around the world heal after divorce and manifest love through self-love.


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