What I Learned While Moving Across the Country as a Single Mom

Jennifer Joy Butler

By Jennifer Joy Butler | Aug 9th, 2022

Moving is considered a major life event and with that comes the possibility for quite a bit of stress. Add to that equation moving out of state, taking a sabbatical from work in order to make the move, completing the final weeks of an intense certification program, and being a single mom and well, you are left with the recipe for what could be a disaster. This has been my life for the past couple months and it has been quite the adventure, to say the least. Life tends to happen this way though for most of us, everything at once, and so it really just becomes about finding ways to celebrate in the discomfort and transform the stress into fuel to energize you along the way.

I could tell you that I managed these past couple months perfectly, always having a smile on my face and letting the anxiety just roll off my back. After all, I am a love and relationship coach teaching and living the Calling In “The One” perspective and have many tools at my disposal for handling stress and staying positive. I could tell you that, but it wouldn’t be the whole truth and well, that just isn’t my way.

The truth of the last couple months is that although I have been excited, knowing that I am doing what is best for my son and walking my own path in reaching for my desires, I have also been gripped with anxiety. This anxiety has shown itself in moments as sheer terror, exhaustion, lack of patience, and a sensation of feeling stuck and unproductive. I have listened to that voice in my head tell me all sorts of ridiculous stories about how alone and incapable I am of making this work. I have had times when I have literally wanted to pull the covers over my head and stay there forever. I have been afraid and uncomfortable, and yet I have also been determined and inspired by the path I have chosen to take.

Change can be intimidating and scary AND it can be exhilarating and expansive.

Here’s the thing, every single moment of our lives involves choice and when we make the choices that lead us down the path to our purpose, risk and discomfort are sure to come up along the way. And so, even though I have felt the discomfort and fear, I have held steadfast in my knowing that these feelings are intended only for the benefit of my greater good and with the tools I have learned and teach my clients, I am able to use even the greatest discomforts and fears to empower me and light up the way.

1. Own the decisions you make

A life experience like a move can feel overwhelming and out of control at times. There is a lot of room for error as you are literally walking into the unknown. It can be very easy to fall into a pattern of blaming others, complaining about how things are, and even making excuses for whatever is happening. The truth is though, there is nothing more empowering than owning our own choices and taking responsibility for the decisions we make. As soon as we make this choice, we realize that we are the creators of how our days go. We are no longer at the mercy of others and instead hold all the power within ourselves to experience and feel the way we desire.

2. Own the feelings you have

Our feelings are a part of our guidance system, intended to communicate very valuable and powerful information to us. Often times, when we feel things we consider to be negative or bad, like anxiety and fear, we attempt to push those feelings away, ignore them, or even deny that they are there. It may seem like we can make them just go away, but the truth is, the more we resist these feelings, the stronger they become. When we are going through a stressful time like moving, one of the most effective tools in remaining empowered and energized is to make time and space to sit with our feelings and understand what they are communicating to us. By welcoming them in and opening up their teachings, we avoid being drained and exhausted from any attempts to “make them go away.”

3. Own your need for others

We live in a world filled with loneliness, everyone trying to prove how self-sufficient they are and capable they are on their own. We seem to have lost connection the core truth within us that we are creatures of connection who thrive on coming together. Stressful experiences, like moving, are times when this need for one another becomes very apparent, and our desire for connection increases. Sure, we can probably accomplish most things alone and don’t necessarily “need” someone, but do we really want to? Reaching out to others for support, allowing them to offer themselves to us and receive them is a gift to ourselves and to those who love us. And in stressful moments, it is the key to our sanity and success.

Change can be intimidating and scary AND it can be exhilarating and expansive. At the end of the day, it comes down to the choices we make in each moment as they present themselves to us. Every second may not be easy, but every experience can be filled with possibility and a deep knowing that all will be okay and exactly as it is intended to be.

Jennifer Joy Butler

Jennifer Joy Butler

Jennifer Joy Butler is a love & relationship coach, writer, and podcast host helping women learn how to expand into love so they can create happy & healthy relationships in their lives.


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