If you are recently divorced, a lot has probably changed since the last time you were single. Depending on how long you were married, you may be altogether unfamiliar with what it means to “swipe right,” “swipe left,” “wink,” or “flirt.”
Guaranteed, if you are using online dating sites and apps for the first time, it’s not what you think. The dating game is still in play but, in many respects, the rules have changed.
Not to worry. Below are a few tips from Worthy’s divorce experts, including myself, to help make dating after divorce the fun and satisfying experience it has the potential to be.
Star of Bravo TV’s “Untying the Knot,” Founder & CEO of DivorceDating, Author, Attorney, Television Personality, Volunteer, and Divorce Success Story.
“Dating after divorce can be daunting, but I think the main thing to remember is to be open minded. Remembering what went wrong in a marriage and being open to different types of people with diverse backgrounds and experience will add to your dating success. I think you have to set your divorce aside from who you are in your next chapter and be open to finding a new person who you have fun with and can explore new things and see what develops. Don’t be so serious in your dating journey. Strive to have a good time, meet new people, and make new memories.”
Founder of WealthySingleMommy, single mom, mom-mom, writer, journalist, business owner, small-town Midwesterner, New Yorker, world traveler, homebody, cook, friend, neighbor, and woman.
“Recognize that a date is not a hunt for a husband or even a long-term relationship. This date, and every first date, is about having a nice time, getting to know someone new, and sussing out romantic potential. In other words: Lighten up and have fun! Also, be open to dating someone outside of what you think your “type” is. It has likely been years or decades since you dated (or maybe you never dated at all), and you, and life, are very different this time around. Be open minded, and try on a different style.”
Founder of The Divorcierge, Martha Beck Trained Life Coach, CDC Certified Divorce Coach®, and a divorced single mom of two young adults.
“When you’re using online dating sites and apps it’s important to show up just as you would for a date. Your attitude is reflected in how you choose profiles and how you respond to others. You should go online with the idea of making some new friends. Imagining you’re going to find your soul mate or develop a deep and meaningful relationship by reading someone’s profile, unfortunately, is a false belief. If you go about it with an open mind, you’ll be more amenable to different types of people. You never know who will turn into Mr. or Ms. right. Open yourself up and the universe opens up to you!”
Divorce Coach, Mediator, and founder of Since My Divorce.
“Know your core values. That means identifying what values are important to you. Is it integrity? Compassion? Religion? Financial independence? There are no wrong or right answers to this. It’s totally about what is important to you. Knowing these values will help you be picky about the things that matter when deciding whether to date a person. Ruling someone out because they live 20 miles away as opposed to 15 may be a mistake, but ruling out someone because of which presidential candidate they supported may be a much more accurate assessment.”
Writer and blogger from the New York City area, a divorced single mom, lifestyle editor at Worthy.com, and the founder and managing director of Write On Track, LLC, a full-service consultancy dedicated to providing high-quality content to individuals and businesses.
“Date in your present, not your past, and certainly not for your future. In other words, stop expecting so much from every encounter! Yes, it’s important to have relationship goals and come to terms with what is acceptable to you and what is not. However, sometimes a date is just a date. Still, we can learn from everyone we meet, even from people with whom we don’t necessarily click or like. Once you understand that everyone brings value, including yourself, dating actually becomes enjoyable.”
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