Recovering from Infidelity with Tara Eisenhard

By Worthy Staff | May 28th, 2019

Tara was 13 years old when her parents divorced. At the time there was not an open dialogue around divorce, let alone a positive one. Tara navigated herself through the process and ultimately came to realize that the divorce was for the better. Her life was more peaceful, her family happier.

This helped Tara prepare for her own divorce years later. While she experienced the pain and agony that comes with divorce, she did not inherently view it as a bad thing. She had seen firsthand the benefits that divorce can bring an individual and a family. Everyone she spoke to, however, only expressed sadness and anger. It is what drove her to dive deeper into the world of divorce, to learn all about the different ways and reasons that people separate. On this journey, she cemented the ways that individuals can not just recover from divorce, but intentionally evolve.

We started by defining infidelity. Tara defines it as any behavior that goes outside the boundaries of a relationship. This can look different for different relationships and not limited to physical acts. In many cases, emotional infidelity is at play.

So how can we move on? How do we evolve from so much pain?

Tara’s Infidelity Recovery Steps:

1. Look at your story. Ask yourself the necessary questions. What is the story that you are telling yourself? Others? What is your role? What is your ex’s role? The one they cheated with?
2. Change the narrative. Decide what it is that you want to change in this story.
3. Know your wounds. Take time to understand your wounds and the level of help you may need.
4. Draw boundaries. Identify who is helpful in this time of need and who isn’t.
5. Practice self-care. Respect, protect and invest in yourself. This step goes beyond the pampering aspect that is usually considered self-care.
6. Build new relationships. Re-establish your relationship with your ex, especially if you share children. You are in a new relationship with your ex and others in your life.
7. Recognize and celebrate. Acknowledge the commitment you are making to yourself and your new chapter.

The healing timeline is different for everyone, but once you set the intention to evolve rather than dissolve, anything is possible.