7 Steps to Healing Your Relationship With Money

healing relationship with money
Desirae Harper

By Desirae Harper | Jul 27th, 2023

I’ve written a few articles about being broke and how to deal with it here on Worthy. Those articles were a reflection of my mindset at the time. I was raising a 3-year-old on my own with no financial help from her father. I began supplementing my income with credit cards to make sure my daughter never went without. I was stressed out all the time and it felt like I was always trying to put out one financial fire after another. I was literally working just to make ends meet with no room in my budget for relaxation and fun for myself. I was exhausted.

The last month has been such a lesson for me. I came to the realization that even though I didn’t choose my situation, I was giving it the space and energy it needed to thrive. I would get angry at myself for allowing this to be my reality. That was the key though…I was allowing it. This past month, I got super serious about changing the way I think about money.

In fact, this month I was short $543. But I didn’t panic like I used to. I followed the steps below and a check I had been waiting on for months finally cleared. The total? $547! How magical is that?

Here are 7 steps I am taking now to heal my relationship with money:

1. Watch Your Thoughts

Most of us don’t know just how powerful our thoughts are but they are ridiculously powerful. Think about it, every amazing invention of today, from the iPhone to the glorious Chick-fil-A nugget, all of those things were merely THOUGHTS before they came to be. Crazy, right?! Well, your thoughts are just as powerful and whatever you think the most about will soon come to be your reality. So what are you thinking? Take note of what you are thinking and feeling about money. No, I mean literally! Write them down! We can’t change what we don’t recognize or track.

2. Change your thoughts

Now that you have identified the negative thoughts you have around money, it’s time to change them around and put a positive spin on them. I made the decision that I would no longer stress about money. I am releasing it to the Universe and having faith that I am going to be okay. Phone calls from bill collectors are not life or death. It’s just a phone call. I send them to voicemail when they call and immediately start thanking the universe for providing me with the means to pay them.

3. Show Gratitude

I can sit around and be depressed because I don’t have money or I can start speaking my financial breakthrough into existence. Every day, I make sure to show gratitude. For the money I have and the money I want to manifest. Every morning I say, “I am grateful that I have all that I need. I love money and it is there when I need it. Money flows naturally to me. I love money and I am ready to receive more of it.” I say things like this out loud every day. I write them down. I own them. I am telling the powers that be that I am grateful for what I have. I’m saying I am ready for even more of it. When I get money now, I celebrate. I’m talking legit dance breaks when I get paid or when money comes to me!

4. Create a budget

This step is more concrete (and boring!) than most of the others but it’s just as necessary. In order for your relationship with money to change, you have to know where your money is going. Make a list of all your income and all your monthly expenses so you can get an idea of what changes you can implement to start a financial recovery. Make it fun. Use pretty colors or a notebook you love so it doesn’t feel like a chore. When I can look and see how much money is coming and going, it’s easier for me to stay on track…and away from Overdraft City!

5. Make a recovery plan

Now you know where your money is going and maybe you have identified which expenses can wait until you save and pay off any debt you have. Like maybe you get rid of cable and just keep Hulu and Netflix. Or maybe you start cooking more meals at home and stop eating out for a bit. How you recover from a financial disaster is totally up to you.

6. Earn More Money

You can decide how you can make additional income. It can be anything from Uber, Postmates, freelance work or even starting your own business. This is necessary if your expenses every month are more than your monthly income. You should also do this if you have no money left to save at the end of each month. Part of being financially sound is having a “rainy day” stash in case something unexpected comes knocking on your wallet.

7. Visualize

The last step might seem sort of weird if you’ve never done it but there is extreme power in attaching positive emotions to our thoughts. So think out what your best life looks like. Write it down, plan it out. Then take 15 minutes each day to close your eyes and visualize it. Feel how good it feels to have all the money you need. What it’s like driving the car of your dreams or walking into the home you’ve always wanted. See it. Feel it. Own it.

These are my favorite books on Money, Mindset, and Manifesting:

I hope these steps help you heal the energy surrounding your relationship with money. Find me on Instagram and let me know what tip was your favorite or maybe how you healed your relationship with money.

Desirae Harper

Desirae Harper

Desirae Harper is a blogger from Southern California focusing on topics from her life as a single mom, celebrity gossip, and her own personal fitness journey.


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